Rewards for the Loss of Children
Rewards for the Loss of Children: Be informed that Allah, Praise to Him, is Just, Generous, Absolutely Independent. It does not befit His perfection and the beauty of His attributes that He afflicts one of His servants in the life of this world with any affliction, no matter how small, without rewarding him for it many times more: Had He not given him anything, He would have been unjust; and had He compensated him only by the same measure, He would have been sporting, and Allah is greatly above doing so. Many prophetic reports have supported each other in this regard; the following are only some of them: “Had a believer known what rewards Allah has prepared for him on account of his affliction, he would have wished he had been cut in the life of this world with scissors.”[1][50]
Let us quote only what supports our topic, for such traditions have been narrated about the Prophet (ص) by more than thirty of his companions.
As-Saduq, may Allah have mercy on him, has narrated it through isnad to Amr ibn Absah al-Salami who said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah (ص) saying, ‘Any man offers three sons who did not yet reach maturity, or if a woman offers three of her sons, they will be a veil protecting him/her from the fire.”[2][51]
Abu Dharr al-Ghifari, may Allah be pleased with him, has said, “There are no two Muslims [parents] who offer three sons who are yet to reach maturity except that Allah permits them to enter Paradise through His mercy.”[3][52]
Through isnad (narration) by Jabir, traced back to Imam Abu Ja`far ibn Muhammad ibn Ali al-Baqir, peace be with them both, the Imam (ع) said, “One who offers sons hoping for rewards from Allah Almighty will be protected from the Fire by the will of Allah, the most Exalted, the most Great.”
Through isnad by Ali ibn Maysarah[4][53], Imam Abu Abdullah (ع) says, “One son offered by a man is better than seventy who survive him, all having mounted over horses and fought in the Way of Allah.”[5][54]
He (ع) is also cited as having said, “A believer’s reward from his sons is Paradise, whether he was patient [at their demise] or not.”[6][55] He (ع) has also said, “If one is afflicted by a calamity, and if he fretted because of it or did not, whether he was patient about it or not, his reward from Allah for it will be Paradise.”[7][56] He (ع) has also said, “One son offered by a man is better for him than seventy who survive him and who live to meet al-Qa’im, peace be with him.”[8][57]
Al-Tirmidhi tracks his isnad the Prophet (ص) saying, “A believer who is afflicted by a calamity in himself, his sons or wealth will meet Allah, the most Exalted, the most Great, having committed no sin at all.”[9][58]
Muhammad ibn Khalid al-Salami, who cites his father quoting his grandfather, who used to keep the Prophet (ص) company, said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah (ص) saying, ‘If a servant of Allah had a status with Allah which he did not achieve through a good deed, Allah afflicts him in his body, or in his wealth, or in the most dutiful of his sons, then He enables him to be patient on its account till he reaches the status which Allah, the most Exalted One, the most Great, had already decreed for him.’”[10][59]
Thawban, a servant-slave of the Messenger of Allah (ص), has said, “Congratulations! Congratulations! Five things there are: How heavy they are in the scales! They are: La Ilaha illa Allah [there is no god except Allah], Subhan-Allah (Glorified is Allah), Alhamdu-Lillah (Praise be to Allah), Allahu Akbar (Allah is Greatest), and the righteous son of a Muslim: He dies, so his father seeks compensation from Allah.”[11][60]
Abdul-Rahman ibn Samrah quotes the Messenger of Allah (ص) as saying, “I saw yesterday something amazing,” stating a lengthy tradition which includes this: “I saw a man from my nation whose scales were light, so his sons came and caused his scales to weigh down heavily.”[12][61]
Sahl ibn Haneef, may Allah be pleased with him, has said that the Messenger of Allah (ص) said, “Get married, for I shall brag about your numbers before the nations on the Judgment Day, so much so that the stillborn remains procrastinating at the gate of Paradise, so it is said to him to enter, but he says, ‘Not before my parents enter.’”[13][62]
Mu`awiyah ibn Haidah al-Qushairi quotes the Prophet (ص) as saying, “A slave woman who gives birth is better than a beautiful [free] woman who does not. I shall brag about your numbers before the nations, so much so that the stillborn will remain procrastinating at the gate of Paradise; therefore, it is said to him to enter Paradise, whereupon he would say, ‘I and my parents?’ and it will be said to him, ‘You and your parents.’”[14][63]
Abdul-Malik ibn Omayr quotes narrators telling him that a man once went to the Prophet (ص) and said, “O Messenger of Allah! Shall I marry so-and-so?” The Messenger of Allah (ص) prohibited him from marrying her. He went to him a second time and said, “O Messenger of Allah! Shall I marry so-and-so?” The Messenger of Allah (ص) prohibited him from marrying her, too.
Then the man went to the Prophet (ص) a third time, whereupon he (ص) this time said to him, “A slave woman who gives birth is dearer to my heart than a beautiful [free] but sterile woman.” Then he (ص) added saying, “Do you not know that I shall brag about your numbers to the other nations? I shall do so till a stillborn remains at the gate of Paradise refusing to enter, so he is told to enter, but he says, ‘No, not till my parents enter.’ He thus seeks intercession for them, whereupon they shall all enter Paradise.”
Sahl son of the Hanzali woman, who was childless and one of those who had sworn allegiance to the Prophet (ص) under the tree, is quoted as having said, “If a son is born for me in Islam [who dies a stillborn], so I hope for compensation from Allah, is dearer to my heart than I have as my possession the whole world and everything in it.”[15][64]
Ubadah ibn al-Samit is quoted as having said that the Messenger of Allah (ص) had said, “A childbed woman is dragged by her son on the Judgment Day with his own naval cords into Paradise [the child died before getting the chance to cut the naval cord].”[16][65]
Amr ibn Shu`ayb quotes his father quoting his grandfather saying that the Messenger of Allah (ص) had said, “Whoever offers one son from his loins, who is yet to reach adolescence, it will be better for him than a hundred sons who survive him, all performing jihad in the cause of Allah who never are calmed till Judgment Day.”
Al-Hassan has said that the Messenger of Allah (ص) said, “If I offer a stillborn, it is better for me than leaving behind a hundred knights, all fighting in the cause of Allah.”[17][66]
The Prophet (ص) is also quoted as having said, “Stillborns will be told on the Judgment Day to enter Paradise, whereupon they will say, ‘Lord! Not till our parents enter!’ They will thus refuse to enter. It is then that the Almighty, Exalted and Great is He, shall say, ‘Why do I see you hesitating? Enter Paradise.’ They will say, ‘Lord! Our parents!’ The Almighty will then say, ‘Enter Paradise, you and your parents.’”[18][67]
Ubaid ibn Umayr al-Laithi is quoted as having said, “On the Judgment Day, the sons of the Muslims will come out of Paradise holding drinks in their hands. People will beg them to give them of it to drink, but they will shout out: ‘Our parents! [Where are] our parents?!’ so much so that even the stillborn will remain at the gate of Paradise too reluctant to enter saying, ‘I shall not enter till my parents enter.’”[19][68]
Anas ibn Malik is quoted as having cited the Messenger of Allah (ص) saying, “When it is Judgment Day, the believers’ children are called upon to get out of their graves. They will come out. They will then be told to go to Paradise in hordes, but they will say, ‘Lord! Shall our parents accompany us?’ They will be called upon a second time to go to Paradise in hordes, but they will again say, ‘Lord! Shall our parents accompany us?’
They will then be called upon for the third time to go to Paradise in hordes, but they will once more say, ‘Lord! What about our parents?’ It will be said to them on the fourth time, ‘Your parents shall be with you, too,’ whereupon each child will leap to its parents. They will take their hands and all will enter Paradise, for they best know their fathers and mothers on that Day than your own sons who now are in your homes.”[20][69]
Anas ibn Malik is quoted as having said that a man used to bring his son together with him whenever he used to see the Messenger of Allah (ص). The son died, so his father stopped going to visit the Prophet (ص) who inquired about him. People said to the Prophet (ص), “O Messenger of Allah! His son, whom you had seen in his company, has died.”
The Prophet (ص) said, “Why did you not tell me? Stand and let us go to our brother to console him.” When the Prophet (ص) entered the man’s place, he found him very sad and forlorn, so he offered his condolences to him. The man said, “O Messenger of Allah! I used to treasure him for my old age and feebleness.”
The Messenger of Allah (ص) said to him, “Does it not please you that on the Day of Judgment, he will be beside you? He will be told to enter Paradise, whereupon he will say, ‘Lord! What about my parents?’ He will keep pleading till Allah, the most Exalted, the most Great, accepts his intercession and permits you all to enter Paradise.”[21][70]
Anas is also quoted as having said that ‘Uthman ibn Maz`un, may Allah be pleased with him, lost a son; therefore, his grief was intense, so much so that he took for himself a niche in his house where he worshipped. The Prophet (ص) came to know about it, whereupon he said, “O ‘Uthman! Allah, the most Exalted One, the most Great, did not obligate us to live like monks. Rather, asceticism of my nation is jihad (holy war) in the way of Allah.
O ‘Uthman son of Maz`un! Paradise has eight gates and Hell has seven; does it not please you that whenever you come to any gate of Paradise, you will find your son standing at it, holding your robe (pleading to the Almighty to let you in)?”
It was said to the Messenger of Allah (ص), “O Messenger of Allah! Shall we get with regard to our sons what ‘Uthman will be getting?” The Prophet (ص) said, “Yes, for all those among you who are patient and who rest their hope on Allah’s rewards.”[22][71]
Qurrah ibn Iyas is quoted as having said that the Prophet (ص) used to be visited by a man from the Ansar with his son. The Prophet (ص) once asked him, “O so-and-so! Do you love him?” The man said, “Yes, O Messenger of Allah, I love him just as I love you.” The Prophet (ص) missed seeing him, so he asked about him.
It was said to him, “O Messenger of Allah! He lost his son.” When the Prophet (ص) saw that man again, he said to him, “Are you not pleased that on the Judgment Day, whenever you come to one of the gates of Paradise, your son will try to open it for you?” The man said, “O Messenger of Allah! Will the gate be opened only for him or for all of us [our family]?” The Prophet (ص) said, “Rather, for all of you.”[23][72]
Al-Bayhaqi has reported that whenever the Prophet (ص) sat, a number of his companions would sit around him, and among them was a father who had with him a small boy who used to come to him from behind, so he would seat him in front of him, till the child died, whereupon the man stopped going to the circle which he used to attend due to his sadness and grief.
He was missed by the Prophet (ص) who said, “Why do I not see so-and-so?” They said, “O Messenger of Allah! His son whom you had seen has died, so he now is too grieving over him to attend.”
The Prophet (ص) met him and asked him about his son. He told the Prophet (ص) about his son’s demise, so the Prophet (ص) offered his condolences to him then said, “O so-and-so! Which is dearer to you: That you enjoy him during your life or you come tomorrow to one of the gates of Paradise where you will find him there ready to open it for you?”
The man said, “O Prophet of Allah! No, indeed, I prefer he beats me to the gate of Paradise which is dearer to me.” The Prophet (ص) said, “You shall have that.”[24][73]
A man from among the Ansar stood up and said, “Is this [reward] only for this man or is it for anyone from among the Muslims who has a child [who passes away]?” The Prophet (ص) said, “Rather, it is for anyone among the Muslims who has a child [who passes away]; he shall have the same [rewards].”
Zurarah ibn Awfa is quoted as having said that the Messenger of Allah (ص) consoled a man on the loss of his son. He said to him, “Allah will reward you, and great will be His reward.” The man said, “O Messenger of Allah! I am an old man, and my son had tended to me very well.”
The Prophet (ص) said to him, “Does it not please you that he will meet you at one of the gates of Paradise with a drink in his hand for you?” The man asked, “How can I get such a reward, O Messenger of Allah?!” The Prophet (ص) said, “Allah will take care of it and will do the same to every Muslim whose son dies in Islam.”
Abdullah ibn Qays quotes the Messenger of Allah (ص) saying, “If the son of a servant of Allah dies, Allah Almighty says this to His angels: ‘Have you taken away the son of My servant?’ He will receive the answer in the affirmative, whereupon He will repeat the question thus: ‘Have you taken away the fruit of his heart?’
The angels will again answer in the affirmative, whereupon He will ask them—and He knows in advance what their answer will be—this: ‘What did My servant say?’ They will answer saying, ‘He praised You and rendered his final affair to You.’ Allah Almighty will then say, ‘Build a house for My servant in Paradise and name it the House of Praise.’”[25][74]
It has also been narrated that a woman came once to see the Prophet (ص) in the company of her sick son. She said, “O Messenger of Allah! Pray Allah Almighty to heal my son!” The Messenger of Allah (ص) said to her, “Did you have [other] children?” She said, “Yes”. He asked her, “Were they born during the jahiliyya or in Islam?” She said, “During Islam.” The Messenger of Allah (ص) said, “[Such is] a fortified protection [from the fire of hell]! A fortified protection!”[26][75]
Jabir ibn Samrah is quoted as having said that the Messenger of Allah (ص) had said, “One who buries three of his sons and is patient about his loss and rests his hope on being compensated for his loss by Allah Almighty, it will be incumbent that he should be lodged in Paradise.” Umm Ayman asked, “What if he buries two?”
The Prophet (ص) said, “It is so if he buries two and is patient about his loss and rests his hope on being compensated for his loss by Allah Almighty, it will be incumbent that he should be lodged in Paradise.”
Umm Ayman asked again, “What about burying only one son?” The Prophet took to silence. After a short while he said, “O Umm Ayman! If someone buries one son and is patient about his loss and rests his hope on being compensated for his loss by Allah Almighty, it will be incumbent that he should be lodged in Paradise.”[27][76]
Abdullah ibn Mas`ood, may Allah be pleased with him, is quoted as having said that the Messenger of Allah (ص) had said, “If one offers three sons who were yet to reach adolescence, they will be his fortified protection [against the flames of the Fire].” Abu Dharr said, “I have already offered two.” The Prophet (ص) said, “Even if they were two.” Ubayy ibn Ka`b then said, “I have offered one,” whereupon the Prophet (ص) said, “Even if it were one son, but this will be at the first shock.”[28][77]
Abu Sa`eed al-Khudri is quoted as having said that women once said this to the Prophet (ص): “Schedule one day to preach to us.” He did. He said, “Any woman who loses three of her children, they will all form a barrier for her to protect her from the fire.” One woman asked him, “What about a woman who loses two?” The Prophet (ص) said, “It is so even if she loses two.”[29][78]
In another tradition, he (ص) said to her, “Do you not like to see him at the gate of Paradise calling upon you to join us?” She answered in the affirmative, so he (ص) said to her, “So shall it be.”[30][79]
Ubayy ibn al-Nadar al-Salami is quoted as having said that the Messenger of Allah (ص) had said, “If one of the Muslims loses three of his children and he rests his hope on compensations from Allah, they will be protection for him against the fire.” A woman asked, “What if two die?” The Prophet (ص) said, “Even if he/she loses two.”
He (ص) is also quoted as having said, “One who offers three of his children while being patient and seeks compensations from Allah, he will be protected from the Fire by the will of Allah, the most Exalted One, the most Great.”[31][80]
In another wording of this tradition, the Prophet (ص) says, “One who loses some of his sons and remains patient, seeking compensations from Allah, they will protect him, by the will of Allah, from the Fire.”[32][81]
The mother of Mubashshir, who belongs to the Ansars, is quoted as saying that the Messenger of Allah (ص) entered her house as she was cooking rice. He said to her, “One who loses three children who are yet to reach adolescence will be protected through them from the Fire.” She said to him, “O Messenger of Allah! What about one who loses only two?” He said to her, “It shall be so even if he loses two children, O mother of Mubashshir!”[33][82]
Qabeesah ibn Barmah has said, “I was once sitting in the company of the Prophet (ص) when a woman came to him and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah! Pray to Allah! Pray to Allah for my sake, for no son lives for me.’ The Prophet (ص) asked her, ‘How many sons have you lost?’ She said, ‘Three’. He said, ‘Surely you have been protected from the Fire with a strong protection.’”[34][83]
Ubayy ibn Ka`b is quoted as having said that the Prophet (ص) once asked a woman if she had children. “Three”, she said. The Prophet (ص) said, “This is a fortified protection for you.”
The Prophet (ص) is also quoted as having said, “Whenever two Muslims [husband and wife] offer three [children] who are yet to reach adolescence, Allah will lodge them in Paradise through His mercy.” People said to him, “O Messenger of Allah! What if only two are offered?” He said, “Even if they offer two; there are some people in my nation who enter Paradise through his intercession more than [the tribe of] Mudar’s count, and there are others who work so hard for Hell till they become one of its corners.”[35][84] A group of narrators have reported this tradition, labeling it as authentic.
He (ص) has also said, “Allah Almighty has said, ‘My Love is deserved by those who befriend each other for My sake, and my Love is due to those who help each other for My sake.”[36][85] Then he said, “A believing man or woman who loses [to death] three children from his loins who did not yet reach adolescence [and who rests his hope on rewards from Allah] will be lodged into Paradise through Allah’s mercy for those whom he loses.”[37][86]
The Prophet (ص) is also quoted as having said, “One who buries three of his children, Allah will prohibit the Fire from reaching him.”[38][87]
Sa`sa`ah ibn Mu`awiyah is quoted as having said, “I met Abu Dharr al-Ghifari, may Allah be pleased with him, in the Rabadha with a camel on which he had loaded two bags, and on the camel’s neck he was hanging a water bag. I said to him, ‘O Abu Dharr! What is wrong?!’ He said, ‘I am just working.’ I said to him, ‘Narrate a tradition for me, may Allah have mercy on you.’ He said, ‘I heard the Messenger of Allah (ص) say that any Muslim couple whose three children die before reaching the age of maturity will be forgiven by Allah through the favor of His mercy on account of those whom they lose.’”
He went on to ask Abu Dharr to tell him another tradition, whereupon Abu Dharr al-Ghifari said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah (ص) say, ‘If a Muslim spends in the way of Allah a couple of items, the caretakers of Paradise will all call upon him to take what belongs to him.’ I asked him, ‘How so?’ He (ص) said, ‘If he had offered men, they will be doubled for him, if camels, cattle, etc., these will be doubled for him, too,’ counting all species of sacrificial animals.”[39][88] This tradition is mentioned by a group of narrators.
Anas ibn Malik has said that the Messenger of Allah (ص) stood in a congregation of Banu Salamah and said, “O sons of Salamah! How would you describe a childless person among you?” They said, “He [or she] is one who does not have children.” He (ص) said, “Rather, he is one for whom no children are born.” He (ص) asked them again, “How would you describe a destitute among you?” They said, “He is one who has no wealth.” The Prophet (ص) said, “No, he is one who meets his Maker having done nothing good for His sake.”[40][89]
Ibn Mas`ūd is quoted as having said that the Messenger of Allah (ص) visited a woman once to offer his condolences. He said to her, “It has come to my knowledge that you became very grieved.” She said, “What would prevent me, O Messenger of Allah, from it since he [son who died] has left me a childless old woman?” The Messenger of Allah (ص) said to her, “You are not childless. A childless woman is one who dies without having begotten sons and people cannot get their sons to help her; such is the childless woman.”
All these traditions are excerpted from reliable sources. We have left out their isnad and sources for the sake of brevity, and due to the fact that Allah, the most Praised One, through His favor and mercy, has promised rewards for those who do their best to achieve something even if they do not actually achieve it. The same is recorded by books of traditions from our [Shiite] sources and from those of the majority of Muslims [Jama’a].