There are many causes for having conflicts between couples, but we can summarize all of them in 4 main titles:
1- Disobedience of the Holy Religious Law: God almighty has put rules to manage a marital relation and make it better for having a happy and successful marital life. When a man ignores and bypasses these religious limits, he threatens all his marital life. Therefore, it is a must to know the marital rights and the relationship morals with the spouse to get the immunity needed to protect the family structure from cleavage.
2- Mistakes: the miscalculation that results from the lack of information about the partner, his privacy, his liking or hate, or his inability to get along with his partner despite his knowledge of the desires and privacies, may also cause problems and make mistakes. This is dangerous to marital life. Therefore, knowing the partner well may help in understanding behaviors in a way that helps to harmonize.
3- Unlogic: False or imaginary perceptions about life and future are among the problems that confront couples. If a young man and a girl live in a world of rosy dreams and imagine that the future will be a shaded paradise as in stories and novels, but after they start their new life and search for that promised paradise and do not find it, each blames the other and bear him the responsibility. Thus begins the bitter conflict that loses life its taste and meaning where each accuses the other of deception. Each of them blames his partner for deception and each becomes dependent on the other, while wishes and hopes are so imaginative that they cannot be fulfilled in reality.
4- Life Routine: It is one of the points that helps in making conflicts. It occurs after a long period of the repetitive daily program, which makes the couple bored, so they devote themselves to criticize each other. Conflicts appear at that time. This is why couples should always renew themselves to each other and appear in a striking way. This is what our true religion recommends, including renewal and beautification through dress and appearance. It was narrated by Al Imam Al Sadek (a.s): “The husband is indispensable for three things between him and his wife: her approval, to get it and her love, his good manners with her, and flattering her heart by a beautiful look and being closer to her”. [1]
In another narration for him (a.s):”… and showing his admiration for her by being beautifully dressee infront of of her eyes”. [2]
How do you prevent the failure of marriage?
One of the most important points that prevent a man and woman to fail in their marriage are:
Choosing a good partner before getting married, according to the standards we mentioned above.
Good companionship of both partners in a marital life and being the best wifely through considering each other as a blessing from God Almighty. The Noble Messenger, (pbuh) says: “A believer won’t benefit from anything, after fearing of God Almighty, better than having a good wife”. A blessing is usually a place for affliction and testing, so a man either treats it correctly or in a bad way. A blessing doesn’t remain beneficial unless a man treats it with positivity and performs the other’s rights. Otherwise, both sides lose if they mistreat this divine blessing.[3]
C. Performing the divine rights imposed on both spouses.
D. Protecting the relation from outer interference and being negatively affected by the surrounding.
By taking these points into account, it’s possible to keep up a marital relationship and make it a resort for equally accomplishing the perfection of a man and woman.
A Successful Marriage, Al Maaref Islamic and Cultural Institution
[1] Mizan Al Hikmah, Mohammadi Al Rishary,part 2, page 1185.
[2] Mizan Al Hikmah, Mohammadi Al Rishari, part 2, p. 1185.
[3] Mizan Al Hilmah, part 2, page 1184
source:english.almaaref
